Post 1.

Ask me anything you want about making a baby. I could probably tell you anything and everything you need to know. I can probably even get you pregnant. Example: I have had a handful of friends, who after consulting with me, have gotten knocked up. Dang body why won’t you take your own damn good advice! At this point I should probably quit doing hair and become a full time doula {don’t worry Jen you are still my number 1!}

My story starts 32 months ago. Hubs and I have been married 1 year. We decide this sounds like a good time to start “trying, not trying” for a babes. Plus, two of my friends were knocked up and I didn’t want to be left out! In those first few months you are excited and scared all at the same time because you know it is going to happen this month. No thought ever crosses your mind that you might not be able to get preggo. I mean come on, we live in a society where we are trying so hard NOT to get pregnant because it is sooo easy… when you start to try you think it is going to happen with the snap of your fingers… riiiiighhtttt. Ok, ok, maybe it is easy for some people. I guess I should have started poppin’ them out at 16, had my own reality show or something. Maybe I should have been single in a non-committed relationship, been on drugs, had a one night stand, it seems like those are the ladies who don’t have to try {sorry if you fall into this category and I offended you- really you are the lucky ones}. Anyways, 32 months later we are still trying.

We have the worst diagnosis of why we aren’t getting pregnant {at least in my mind I think it is the worst}. Unexplained Infertility. This is the label they put on you when you have been having unprotected sex for a year or more and have not conceived and nothing diagnostically is wrong with you. Yes, we have had every test done. My tubes are open. My hormones are normal. My progesterone and estrogen are great. I ovulate. My cycle is normal- 27 days to be exact. My lining is great. My eggs are great. Hubs sperm is AMAZING {he is so proud of this he even shows off his stats to his buddies}. Those buster Doctors have no idea why we aren’t getting pregnant. I find this so frustrating because there is nothing we can really do. At least if they pinpoint a reason why you aren’t conceiving you can try and fix it.

I have tried taking vitamins. Not taking vitamins. I have tried paleo. I have tried gluten free. I have tried ice cream and milk- supposedly this helps you ovulate nicely. I have peed on so many ovulation sticks I could fill up a dumpster. I have read the books. I have tried. I have tried not trying. I have done yoga. I have stopped drinking. I have gotten really drunk too- I guess a lot of people get knocked up this way. I have stood on my head- thanks for the advice Auntie Kris. I have laid with my legs up for 30 mins. I have changed my workout routine. I have tried herbs. I have done acupuncture. I have done chiropractic work. I have slept with a moonstone under my mattress. I have worn fertility beads- they look pretty 🙂 I have tried femera. I have tried clomid. I have tried injectable meds and IUI {I will get into details in a later blog post about how much fun it is to prick yourself with needles everyday and have some old man inject you with your husbands sperm- at least you hope it is your husbands}. Basically this unmade child has already cost me a crap ton of money…. haha LONG story LONG I have done it all and really I am just tired. I am Emotionally. Financially. Mentally exhausted.

Maybe this is my Karma or my path in life to just be the coolest aunt ever. I don’t know. But what I have come to realize in the past few months is you can only do so much. I have to let it go and give it up to God- or a higher power/energy whatever you believe. I have prayed for patience. I have prayed for peace. I have learned the meaning of patience so much in the last few years. And recently I have felt a kind of peace and understanding that I have not ever felt before. Although we are still in the last leg of our journey- for now- I am at peace knowing whatever happens is meant to be, will be, and I will be ok….


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