Happy New Year

As 2014 closes and 2015 looms not too far away, what are you hoping for? {I think I know what most of us are hoping for this coming year in this community ha}… We are heading down to San Felipe for our annual New Years trip and I am excited to get out of town leaving technology, tv, social media, babies, and pregnant friends behind. So as I won’t be able to post during the new year I will leave you with this great passage that really called to my heart and will be reflecting on in my own life for this coming year. Here’s to an amazing 2015. Cheers!

God has made everything beautiful for its own time. Ecc 3:11 (NLT)

So much of our energy is spent on looking forward or remembering backwards. We pine for what’s been lost and can’t wait for what we don’t yet have… and all the while, beauty is right before us…

God has made EVERYTHING – yep, ALL things – beautiful. Whatever you are experiencing now is laced with beauty. You don’t have to reach backwards or forwards to a grasp a sense of beauty or purpose because beauty permeates the world – it’s carried by the love and grace of God in and through all things…

You could be reading this thinking “there is nothing beautiful about the pain I’m in right now…”

I know exactly how you feel… most of us do… And while deep tragedy ravages our heart, it does reveal a beauty that’s concealed in easy times: the deep well of friendship, community, the comfort of God, discovering your strength, the capacity of the human spirit, the hope of eternity. Hope is not born on mountain tops, but in valleys when you’re looking to the heights and peaks that you’re yet to climb…

While you’re dreaming or remembering… or perhaps you’re waiting for the door to open on a particular season in your life; let the season come at its appointed time. Don’t take the beauty of what God is doing in your life today for granted.

Wanting summer to come in the middle of winter only causes frustration! After all, winter has its own purpose in the cycle of seasons. Without it, the trees wouldn’t be so green or so strong. And you miss the beauty that cold can bring – snowflakes, tree trunks, frozen water… winter has a beauty that is not seen in summer…

Wherever you’re at today, ask God to show you the beauty in the season. Let the rhythms of grace be unforced and free flowing. As you continue to hope for tomorrow and glean from the wisdom you learnt yesterday, LIVE today, take every moment given to you and look for the beauty that God has placed all around you in every season. Time will pass, it can’t be stopped… what you hope for will come, but you’ll never relive this moment, so take it, breathe it in and live it all out.

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Somewhere Tonight There Is a Woman…

Thank you Elisha for your beautiful words. You know my heart and many others so well. I hope all my sisters will find peace, joy, and love this Christmas season. Sending you all many hugs xoxo

Waiting for Baby Bird

Circle TreeSomewhere tonight there is a woman, sitting next to the twinkling lights of her Christmas tree and staring at the fireplace mantle.  Year after year, her heart tells her head, “Here’s another Christmas with no children’s stockings to hang or cookies to bake for Santa.” I can see the tears fall down her sweet face as she makes the vow that this time next year, things will be different; they will be better.  Yet even as she says those words, she knows deep down in her heart it’s not guaranteed.  How could it be when she said those same words last year–and the year before–and the year before that.  Her hope is fading and her faith is shrinking this holiday season as she wonders if her prayers are being heard and her tears being caught.  Yet even so, she continues to beg and plead to God.  She continues to cry…

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Merry Christmas xoxo The Tiemans

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where have i been?

It has been a little over a month since I have written a blog post or have even checked in on fellow bloggers. The truth is I haven’t really been in the mood to write about what feels like the never ending battle of infertility. I feel like this blog is a blessing, but also a place where I find myself putting too much negative, yet sometimes humorous attention on infertility, instead of sending out positive vibes into the universe like, ” I am fertile!”. So where have I been and what have I been up to?

As I wrote a while ago I started taking Zoloft to help with my lows. No shame here. I freakin love it. I should have started it a year ago. I think I may have been a little too hopeful that it would be a magic pill making everything perfectly perfect. Although it has improved my mood, my motivation, and my emotions, I still have bad days, but they are few and far between and not so low. All in all I would recommend it to anyone who needs a little lift.

My brother in law and sister in law had their new baby in November. A beautiful baby girl named Elle. I don’t know why it was so hard this time around. Maybe because we had been trying to get pregnant before they were even married and now they have two kids under 2 years old. It could also be the fact that I really wanted to have the first girl in the Tieman family. I mean come on they got the first baby! Don’t be selfish! I didn’t go meet her until a week later. I know I am being a little dramatic here, but I was having a hard time processing everything. It took be by surprise how emotional I was about it all since I had been doing so good, but the minute she went into labor I broke down. Anyways it’s all good now and I just think she is the cutest.

We have been going on a lot of mini vacations. We went to Palm Springs to celebrate one of my oldest and dearest friends 30th birthday and surprise engagement! She asked me to be in her wedding next year and I couldn’t be more excited for them.

Earlier this year my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had a lumpectomy and went through radiation, which she completed in July and is now breast cancer free. Yippee. Earlier this month though, she was diagnosed with uterine cancer. Unrelated to her breast cancer. It is early stage, but she will have to get a hysterectomy next month and depending on what they find she may have to go through radiation again or chemotherapy. We are praying that they won’t find anything else. I just cannot believe it. Diagnosed with two different kinds of cancer in one year.

I am really trying to get into the Christmas spirit this year since we were out of the country last year for the holidays. Hubs and I got a tree right after Thanksgiving and I decorated the house to the nines. Did I mention that he let me get a pink flawked Christmas Tree? Yes you heard right. A. Pink. Tree. It’s a beaut.

I gave up Facebook… Sort of.

I started meditating daily. I listen to fertility affirmations before I go to sleep at night and sometimes I listen to relaxing meditations during the day to give me more energy or take a break from the chaos. I have found that it has helped put me in a positive mindset. It has helped me to see that I am deserving of happiness.

I am still climbing and we recently went on an outdoor climbing/camping adventure in Joshua Tree. It was sooo muchhhh funnnn! First, I love camping. Second, I love climbing. And Third, my sister and hubs younger brother came along and it was a great time. Joshua Tree has amazing top roping and I have to say I am better outside than in the gym.

All in all I have been a busy girl, but I have also just needed a break from this infertility world. I will be back soon, but until then have the happiest of holidays xoxo

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