God. you’re silly.

God must be testing me or just playing jokes on me for a good laugh.

Hubs and I haven’t been to church in a while so we decided its probably time to get back in the saddle. It happens sometimes. We go through phases of going to church every Sunday and then not stepping foot into church for months.

It is weird, I have not been to church since I got baptized. I’m sure it is an unspoken rule that once you get baptized you should be a devout Christian who goes to church every Sunday, but for some reason I have felt the opposite. My heart is still open and full, but there is a disconnect in me for some reason. Ever since I was baptized I haven’t been praying much, we haven’t gone to church, we haven’t had a dialog surrounding God or spirituality. Subconsciously or not maybe I felt like I could drop the ball a little in that department since I am now part of the family. NOT. I know now more than ever we need to have the same commitment we had before. So game on.

Anyways back to the story. Last Sunday we go to church. We were a little early so we had our choice of where we wanted to sit. We picked the middle, right side of the gym. As worship started and people started filing in next to us, I couldn’t help but notice that every person that came to sit in our section was either pregnant or had a newborn. I was like a future baby mama magnet. LITERALLY. Every couple and women who sat to our left, right, back, and front had a sundress on snuggly covering their plump baby bellies. And 2 couples behind us had their cute little newborns all wrapped up. What a hoot. If that isn’t a test of ones progress I don’t know what is. Of course I had to point this out to hubs, who thought it was funny, and surprisingly I didn’t feel like I needed to run and sit at the other end of the gym with all the high schooler’s and middle aged couples.

I am proud of myself for staying positive. I am proud of myself for not falling apart. I am proud of myself for not running. I am proud of myself for placing all of my emotions into a place bigger than myself.

You’re silly universe. Thanks for showing me I am stronger than I think I am.

 

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7 thoughts on “God. you’re silly.

  1. That is a tough situation! I may not have been able to get through it. A few days ago, I was in a similar situation and had to leave. Then again, some days are easier than others. Hang in there!

    • I’m trying to think it may be a good sign too 🙂 it’s hard to keep the positivity though when you keep getting hit in the gut every month! Sending you prayers on your journey xoxo

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