Essential Oils + Fertility

Yeah. Yeah. You have heard it again and again. Over and over from me. We are “taking a break” for a year to regroup and decide which direction we want to go in when the time comes. Since we will not be doing anything extreme or invasive for a while I have been researching a lot of holistic and natural ways of conceiving. I know what you might be thinking. Skeptical, wooheyy, whatever. I am too, but I feel like I am wasting time just sitting idly by when I can maybe do something positive to help my bod get into amazing baby making shape. I would wayyy rather conceive naturally than blow through my kids entire college fund before I even have one. Or better, blowing up my body with crazy meds and emotions to have it result in nothing other than a waste of time, energy, and money. I haven’t dived into the realm of oils, crystals {ok we do have a moonstone under our bed}, or eating totally crazy yet. I know it seems a little backwards- maybe I should have been doing this all along and in conjunction with. So heck why not? If anything I will smell pretty and maybe I will feel a little better too.

I recently became part of a group on Facebook called Fuller Life- Young Living. They are all about essential oils and natural remedies. I got the guts to post about our infertility “situation” and asked for advice on any oils that can be used to maximize fertility or help or anything. I was amazed at the responses I got back. Here is the advice I received::

“Please get the book Inner Transformation using Essential Oils, the success rate of ladies who struggle with the same infertility become pregnant using the guidelines in this book following the Colon cleanse etc. using the Young Living Supplements. It will be so worth it!”

“I used a similar product to pro plus (didn’t know about yl yet) plant base progesterone ointment……. went from dr saying I was not making any estrogen and therefor could not get pregnant to surprise eight weeks later, I might mention I believe god opens and closes the womb and we were also at Disney world, so there are a lot of variables there for me lol but I would love to pray for you guys and recommend oiling up with male booster like blue spruce and golden rod and maybe some pro plus and any other hormone oils, there are lots if you do some searching and trying what’s best for you. I have grown to love into the future as well and am reminded to pray over our future when I put it on. Best wishes!”

“This is Ken’s wife, Angie. I cannot find my book this evening to look it up, but I think Gary Young’s new book, “Ancient Einkorn” mentions infertility being one of the side-effects of GMO grain. Excellent book….”

“I have Doctor Leanne’s book Taming the Dragon and she mentions in the book that a certain cleanse has seen major results. Worth checking out:)”

“I’m not a dr and every case is different but I suffered myself and learned later & after much heartache, my unexplained infertility was due to a folic acid mutation deficiency.. Make sure your doc puts you on prescription folic acid and eat lots of healthy organic foods with folic acid. I would eat only organic while ttc… Following on what others suggest for YLO… Best of luck to you and your husband.”

“I went to a naturopath…..I had heavy cycles horrible cramps and very moody he told me it’s from too much estrogen and I took 3 supplements for a month and was preggo a month later!!!!!”

Inner Transformations!!! LeAnne Deardeuff spent many woman with that problem!”

“If you are high in estrogen, the try progessence plus to level out. Commit to at least 6 months with the oils. Continue the PP after you conceive until the pregnancy is firmly implanted and producing progesterone. Then start it back up at delivery to prevent post partum depression and mood swings.”

I got this concocktion for bumping up libido! {pun intended}

Orange Wong's photo.
Ranna Seah's photo.
“If you are going to try this, please use a organic tampon. 🙂 {obviously I want to try this one}”

 

WoW. I really loved all these responses and feel like they all have great information. I haven’t quite decided which direction I want to go in yet. I am still drinking Fertilitea twice a day. It tastes good and I didn’t feel my ovulation this month- which is weird I can always feel it and it hurts! So maybe my hormones are balancing out? IDK. I didn’t have a hormone problem to begin with. I don’t think. I really hate doctors. The more I learn about them the more I think they are idiots and too “by the book”. And they are insensitive. And blah. Anywho, sorry about the ADD. Back to oils. I already use some for when I get sick with a cough or cold or I cant sleep, so why not try it for fertility. I am probably going to purchase the Inner Transformations book or Taming the Dragon book or both. And that tampon thing. Why not. Ready go.

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10-ish Things Fun Enough To Cheer Up Infertiles::

Reblogged from Dog’s Aren’t Kids:

Infertiles are the most angry, bitter, resentful, bitchy, pissed off, and judgmental people in the world. And since “God” made us this way, I blame her. Yes her.

That being said, it takes a lot to cheer us up. Like a lot, a lot. None of this “Awww it’s just a bad day, not a bad life” shit. You shut your whore mouth. A bad day? Stubbing your toe is a bad day. Getting a flat tire is a bad day. Infertility is a bad life.

Basically, this list is made of magic. And because I created it, I’m like Tinkerbell. Oh! I’m totally like Tinkerbell. She can be a real, moody bitch.

1. Alcohol. All kinds of alcohol. Beer, wine, champagne, the hard stuff, the fruity stuff, the cheap stuff. Since it’s a depressant, you will feel like pure shit after it wears off, so probably you should just take a shot every couple hours to be safe.

2. Coloring. But it has to be a real coloring book with a real box of crayons. No printed shit, and no colored pencils. Those are for children. Crayons are for real adults with real problems.

3. Remind yourself that pregnant women can’t run. So if there is a zombie apocalypse or a modern version of The Hunger Games, you can just push them over and keep on running.

4. Pick your nose and eat it. In public. The reactions you get will distract you for a solid 10 minutes.

5. Start singing the theme song for “Fresh Prince of Bel Air” and feel accomplished when you realize you still know it. Then feel sad when you realize Uncle Phil just died 😦 But then take another shot and feel happy again.

6. Cocaine.

7. Just kidding.

8. Remind yourself you’re not dying. Unless you are. Then I’m sorry and you need an entirely different list.

9. Have some sex? I don’t know. I’m running out of ideas. How about tell your spouse you want to eat things off of them, you know.. as a fun sex thing? Eat all the things, then “accidentally” fall asleep from the food coma. That seems fun.

10. If you don’t drink or eat delicious things or do drugs or don’t like fun, then you’re hopeless and there is no help for you. Go cry in a closet somewhere.

Byeeeee!

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{I inserted this amazing gif. thanks.}

 

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Dogs Aren’t Kids

{This post is inspired by new favorite bloggers name…}

I have been thinking lately about our pets, mainly dog pets. Aka furbabies, aka granddogger, aka bitch, aka mans best friend. And how they become part of our families, how they become like our babies, how they fill that snuggle spot and comfort us in times of need.

Many people literally treat their dogs like they are their kids.

They get mad at you when your dog snips at their out of control kid dog.

They throw outrageous birthday parties for their kids dogs.

They dress their kids dogs up.

They feed their kids dogs the most expensive high end food.

They get defensive about their kid dog if you say something critical.

They throw balls and Frisbees for their kids dogs.

They snuggle with their kids dogs.

They play with their kids dogs.

They whisper sweet nothings into their kids dogs ears.

They pick up after their kids dogs.

They kiss their kids dogs.

They take pictures of their kids dogs and post them on instagram.

They clean up their kids dogs shit.

 

At the end of the day most of us know a dog isn’t a kid, no matter how much we might treat them like they are a missing limb. A dog is a dog is a dog {and ya’ll know I am a dog person and this is coming from someone without kids, with a dog}.  It’s funny how the same friends who once treated their dogs like kids have suddenly forgotten about the love they had for their kid dog once they have actual kids. Almost over night after having babies their once beloved pet becomes 2nd hand news. They fall to the wayside. How easy it is to forget the love of our precious mates. {Don’t worry give them all to me so I can start a small kid dog farm. Hubs would love that}.

For me, I love my dog and I try to relate to my mom friends by somewhat comparing my Dorie to their baby. People don’t like this very much and the conversation usually goes something like this:

“Ugh. You know what really bugs me? When so-and-so compares her dog to my kid. Or when so-and-so refers to his or her dog as his or her kid. Dogs are not kids! She has NO IDEA what it means to have a kid!”  You know what? Unless “so-and-so” needs professional help, I guarantee “so-and-so” knows that her dog is not a human child. She also knows that having a dog is nothing like having a kid. What she’s really saying is “Oh! Yes. I also have something in my life that shits on things AND brings me joy.” She is trying to relate to you and be a part of your life — the life where all you do is talk about your kids. I know that it’s hard to relate when you have kids and your friends don’t. What were once close relationships can become sporadic meet-ups where you do your best to try and catch up with someone with whom you have very little in common anymore. Sure, you two were best buds in college, but now you have very different lives. So, when “so-and-so” offhandedly, and perhaps awkwardly, tries to relate to your story about picking poo out of your bangs by comparing it to scraping dog shit out of the carpet, cut her some slack. She’s just trying to be nice. And she misses you. {thanks huffington post}

So we get it. Dogs are dogs. Kids are kids. But at the end of the day those little lovers where the first experience most of us had at  learning how to parent, love, discipline, and keep another living thing alive. So love the shit out of them.

Thanks.

doriedog

 

 

 

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the dream.

I have never put this down into words and I very rarely talk about it because I believe in the law of attraction and I am also a little superstitious. But here it is because I need to know what you believe…

When hubs and I first started our journey into baby making {about 3 years ago} I had a very vivid dream one night. This dream came to me when I started to figure out we might have a problem conceiving because it had been a year of trying with no success.

//I am walking through what seems like a field. It was a bit hilly with grass and some sparse trees. It is a sunny day maybe a couple cotton ball clouds in the sky. Along this field is a low brick or rock wall, kind of like a fence running along where I am walking. All of a sudden I stop and bend down to pick up a loose rock that looks out of place in the wall, but it turns into a brick. As I pick it up I see that the underside of the brick has a note carved into it. It says: You will never carry your own children. GOD.// That is all. That is the dream.

Freakkkkky right? I really don’t know what to make of this dream. Was this God really talking to me and trying to tell me something? Was God giving me the sign I had been praying for? Or is this the Devil trying to mess with me? Or my mind playing to tricks on me because I was very stressed out at the time about all things fertility? I am a Christian. I am a spiritual. I have talked to God a lot in my life, but God has not ever spoke to me in this way, if this is what it is. I don’t want to believe that this letter or note from God is true. I want to think it was just my dreams playing tricks on me, but a part of me feels that this really may be a sign. I have never stopped thinking about this dream. It is always there in the back of my mind, tapping me whenever we have a failed IUI or Aunt Flow makes her monthly visit.

So do I heed the warning of this dream and make preparations for having children in another way or do I keep on this path of trying to conceive my own baby in my own body? I am at a loss on this one. Is this truly a sign from God?

rock wall

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Public Service Announcement:

This post is more for people not suffering from infertility.

It is funny how everyone has something to say to you about not getting pregnant. I understand people don’t really know how to respond or approach this issue since there is not a lot of dialog surrounding it. I know people are trying to be positive and supportive. But sometimes we just want someone’s compassionate ear. I am going to suggest to you what not to say to someone who is suffering from infertility:

“just relax and it will happen!” – why don’t I relax my foot in your crotch.

“just get really drunk! it worked for us!”- like I haven’t tried that every weekend. we all know how much I love wine…

“just stop trying, that is when you will get pregnant. when you least expect it.” – how about I just stop trying to not punch you in the face. also it is pretty hard to stop doing something when you have already been doing it for so long.

“have you gotten hubs sperm tested?” – duh, that’s like the first step and the easiest!

“You are still young!”- people I’m not getting any younger here. I will be 30 next year. Last time I checked, our “natural” age to pop kids out is actually 15- so I am ancient by those terms.

“I’m sure nothing is wrong with you.” – oh because you have a phD in vaginas.

“It is not in God’s plan yet.” – I am a Christian so I somewhat understand this comment. I believe that God does have a plan and maybe it isn’t the right timing yet, but I don’t want to hear this from you. Plus, have you had a conversation with God about my fertility issues lately? I don’t think so.

“Just be patient.” – ohhhhhhh….. {this is in my angry, agro, grunt voice}

“I have a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend that tied this and that, and the other and it worked for them!” – well my friend of a friend of a friend wants your friend of a friend of a friend to shove it!

I give this advice in a loving way, so sorry if it comes across harsh. It is just so frustrating to get opinions or advice from people who have no idea what it feels like to not be able to accomplish the one thing us women are made to do! Until then, I will just smile and nod politely…

shut-up_569

on another note its obvious that gif’s are my new favorite thing.

 

 

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Infertility & Love.

Dealing with infertility and continuing a loving and respectful relationship is hard. This is one issue you don’t think you will be dealing with when you get married. You think you will be arguing over money or which side of the bed you get to sleep on, not why aren’t we getting knocked up.

It took a while for me to come to the realization that this is just as hard on hubs as it is on me. He feels sad and let down too. He feels like he isn’t performing his job adequately or efficiently {which by the way he is}. I didn’t stop to think about how he was feeling because I was too caught up in my own selfishness and emotions. When I finally took my drunk goggles off and smelled the roses, I was able to understand and deal with my relationship around infertility in a different way. I really do believe infertility has brought us closer and has deepened our marriage on so many levels. Mind you, we have had our ups and downs through this journey.

My tips:

*Remember you are in this together. No matter what your husband or wife is going to be there when this is all said and done. He is the one by your side lifting you up when you had a bad day, he is the one who you cry to after you found out another person is pregnant and it wasn’t you, he is the one who has that sexy shoulder to cry on, he is the one who makes you feel like no matter what he will always love you, he is the one making you laugh when it hurts and you don’t want to, and he is the one who takes your mind off the negative.

*Make him feel needed and special {and not just for his special sauce}.

*Keep the romance. It gets complicated and unsexy when you have to schedule sexy time around your fertility friend app. {an alert pops up- “ITS TIME TO GET BUSY NOW! NOW! NOW! RIGHT NOW!”} No pressure… riiiiighhhttt.  Guys don’t like feeling like they have to live up to some standard or goal- unless their doctor stats are quality and quantity. We have a secret phrase we use when it is go time, something that takes the pressure off. Don’t just have sex when it is prime time. Have sex just because too! Put on some sexy clothes or some mood music- AIR or John Legend are always winners {wink wink}…

*Talk about the future with babies in it. We still talk about names we like and vacations we want to take with our kids. We talk about what our kids will look like and how we will raise them. I think it is important to stay positive in this conversation and have that glimmer of hope that we will be able to implement what we talk about someday.

*Spend time together NOT talking about babies, pregnancy, or fertility. No brainer right. Take advantage of being able to go on spontaneous dates and sleeping in together. It won’t be this way forever…

*Go see the “Cord Cutter”. This could take up another post entirely, but all I gotta say is GO. I heard about Connie with Soul Sync through a few friends that have been to her- I don’t know if they are ok with me saying their names or not so I won’t- but you know who you are and I thank you for bringing Connie into my life! Anyways Connie is sort of like a therapist, but it is a lot deeper than that… She helped hubs and I so much with issues pertaining to our relationship that had nothing to do with infertility but linked it all together. – Connie at Soul Sync

*Hubs won’t always understand your struggle fully. That was a hard one for me to swallow. Even when he is being supportive, there is a big part of him that just doesn’t get why it is so upsetting when Aunt Flow shows every month. Find a community where you feel comfortable and where people understand your struggle completely.

*Keep your crazy in check. I know how those special little fertility pills can turn you into The Exorcist. And it is no fun for anyone. Hubs is not going to want to get sexy with you when you are being an all out b-word or crying at every commercial on tv . It is easier said than done. I know its like Sybil- you don’t really know you have been acting that way until your head is clear the next month.. “I wasn’t that bad on those pills, was I honey?”…. yes you probably were that bad. Just keep it in check. Be EXTRA sweet.

Most importantly be honest with each other and your emotions. Keep an open line of communication. You are both going to have good days and bad days. That is ok.

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